Here's the Summer Slam

Even over the constant request to keep blogging, I have denied my fans of reading my illustrious and sometimes illusive words so I may cater to my whims of self indulgence in summer activities such as.... school, and trips to far off places like Lubbock Texas. (Which yes, is exactly as enchanting as it sounds.)





Truth is, I have found my new addiction and quick fix to bloggers outlet in indeed the social networking system known as FaceCrack. The games, the funny quips of life and bizarre love hate relationships with the "Like" button take the larger part of my creativity and mutilates it into heaps of grain after being worked over with a mortar and pestle.

However, the summer has been filled with fun and friends that we look upon fondly, as the upcoming school year is upon us. This year both kids will be at the same school, and even though it's unclear how often I will be called to substitute teach, the days I do will be calmer and more controlled, shaving off a cool 45 minutes of drive time from shuffling kids from one side of the county to the other.


I have been making an effort to connect with my community. All 7200 residence that stay here in the winter, and apparently I am intent on meeting them all personally. It's not all fun and games however, as I try hard as I might to make all my efforts of volunteering in drug prevention groups and group facilitating a women's support group into something that might be resume worthy in three years or so. I have to admit, the "work" itself is really something I enjoy so if it never makes a relevant point, I am growing.

Speaking of growing, it's a well known fact that sitting on your butt, talking, writing papers and playing on facebook all lead to obesity. Yes, it's true... the lack of getting paid to work out and filling time with trying to fill my brain has also lead to me filling my body... back up. It's ok, I know I will just do it all again when I move back to civilization where they have real gyms and not port-a-aerobics stalls. I just won't go visit my Grandma Betty anytime soon, because I know it will break her heart.

Speaking of heartbreak, we had two of our most beloved family members of ten years leave us this year in a tragic way. Brie and Chianti have gone to a better place to chase rabbits in landfill. While my heart still is healing, the boys are thrilled because we opened our home to a pair of kittens. Skitty is the brother of the two, who has taken to sitting on my desk while I am typing and trying to get comfortable on my face when I try to sleep. Iris, is a lovable little girl who is a bit less demanding in the affection department but still has a great time in their $200 kitty tower that now occupies a quarter of our computer room. I am just happy they use the darn thing more than the kids do. Now it's a fun game of "Is that smell your booty, the cat box or just Jersey?"


Me in my neurotic motherhood, took Aiden to the dentist at the first sign of a loose tooth. I just had visions of extra teeth growing up and mangling his jaw bone so he would be wearing dentures at age eight. The Dentist assured myself and Aiden after a few x-rays that his teeth were perfectly positions and everything was fine. Aiden loves creeping me out by wiggling it all over the place. You can even see the dark root when he pulls the tooth all the way forward where it shows it's bloody little stump. AAAAAH! He loves it.


"Mommy, my tooth not only can wiggle back and forth but also left and right!" The next day, "Look, it can go around in a full circle." Meanwhile my arm hair is crawling out of it's follicles and running for a less stressful location, which appears to be anywhere my delicates cover as those places keep getting hairier and hairier...but I digress.

With that lovely image in your head, I will end it here. Thanks for being patient with me my bloggie fans. I will try to post more often. Oh, just one more picture of Cody with his new teacher!


Tootles!

New American Privileged

I never considered myself privilaged in the manner the economist or sociologists discuss. It todays economic times however, I have to say being married to a military man is a privliage indeed.

The more bizzare thought however, is the realization that our kids are growing up privilaged. Not rich, but privilaged. They have an attentive two parent household, more toys than they should have, good schools to attend and extra activities like swimming and karate to boot. They will have college funds and opportunities to make the rough college years a little more comfortable. Who's to say if they will be attending ivy league, but truth is our boys are privilaged... just not rich.

With the privilage of raising white men in this socitey however, I think it only responsible parenting that we teach them the truth, that they are privilaged. Denial of that fact will only lead to justification of greed and entitlement issues. I think there can be something to be said for gratitude of circumstances without being racist or elitist. The recognition of privilage among those of us who are privilaged needs to be a humbling and inclusive experience.

When I think about the circumstances in which Terry and I were raised, I can't help to divulge that we were not privilaged in our childhoods. The most disappointing thing I think we could encounter, it to strive to give our children every advantage we can afford only to have them look down their nose at us without even know it. We were the children who grew up in the emotional roller coaster of insecurity, and strive to provide security for our children. We may not have as much now as our neighbors, and we may not be Polyanna every miniute of the day, but despite our backgrounds we can appreciate them, teach our children to appreciate them and know in many ways we are privilaged.

Take a Breath

There is so many things tonight, that is just screaming for me to take pause and breath in this moment of life that surrounds me.

Holidays brings out many different aspects of our personalities. Stress of being with or without family, things we lost or people we found, elation of engagements and mourning of deaths always seem to happen this time of year. It really is the pinnacle of the emotional roller coaster ride for the year, and just to top it off we have weight loss and gym corporations reminding us all to take stock once again in ourselves... just in case we didn't get it right this year.

There is one thing I got right, and his birthday is tomorrow. Yes, tomorrow is the day my oldest son turns five years old. Tomorrow, it's all about him, but tonight as I sit by monitor light recapping on this moment, it's all about me. Five years ago my life and heart went though a metamorphasis and I couldn't be more grateful.

Three years after a traumatic loss, almost six years after a wonderful wedding to a man who's showing me the best of my dream unimagines are among the highs and lows in my memories tonight. My heart however is grateful for the moment that gave me a future and I met this wonderful little five year old boy we named Aiden. And I must admit, I must have paid off the right person in a past life because this little boy is a pure heart, gentle and kind, a great big brother, sensitive and caring, funny, happy, and as creative as there is space in the universe somehow is my son. Not only that, but by having him in my life, he has brougth other wonderful people to me that I would have otherwise never known.

Indeed, this is a time of year for reflection and gratitude. And my cup overflow.

Take a Bath

I think I should take a note from my three year old's playbook. Whenever he is faced with anything that doesn't tickle his fancy he immediately runs to me and demands that I draw the king his bath.

For him, this is a social time, thinking time, pondering time, playing time, relaxing time, leaning time but rarely every an actual cleaning time as the rinse just come accidentally.

So as the holidays rear their greedy little heads bringing their friends credit card debt and family drama trash, I suggest we all invest in our Calgon.

Bella's Legacy

We only had Bella for maybe three weeks, but she was a beloved family member. Carmel colored fuzzy biter, hamster with a tude for sure. Aiden and Cody loved her even when she was banging that dang wheel around in her cage at 3am.

The morning I walked into the room and realized her cage door was open, my heart sunk. It had to be like that over night and I knew she had a good head start on me. If we didn't hear or see her that day, chances were, we wouldn't, and I would have to come up with a story to tell the kids.. Aiden in paticular.

I had a fantastic story all worked up the next day, but I didn't get the chance. That morning, Aiden asked if we could put Bella in the ball. I said, well, no. He asked why not and I said, "Well, do you see anything funny about Bella's cage?" He looked at it and realized immediately the problem with the door being open.

"Oh NO!" He shreaked. "The door is open! Bella got out and the Dogs ate her!!"

There was no getting around it. There was some tears and a couple really hard days as we all searched the house in every crevice and floorspace of every room. The dogs were interrogated of course, but we didn't get much out of them but a suspicious smelly dog lick kiss.

After a couple days, Aiden realized we were not going to be able to find her. This is when he started making up fantastic stories of what could have been a possible alternative to being eaten by the dogs.

"Maybe she went out though the dog door, and decided she liked it outside." I would add in, "And she made friends with the squirrle, and she climbs up the trees and shares their acorns!" He would look at me and say, "Uh, no Mom. Hamsters don't eat acorns."

"Maybe she ran out the door and went over to Abby's house. Yeah, Bella went over there and scratched on the door. Abby heard her, and saw here there and took her in and let her stay with her at her house."

"Bella ran outside and decided she liked it there, so she's living under the porch. But we can't see her because she runs over to Ms. Patty's house when we come looking for her."

"Bella got out of the house, and learned how to fly Mommy! She's a super hero hamster now, that's why she can't come back. She's busy being a super hero!"

I have to admit, as cute as the stories have gotten, Aiden was still asking to get another hamster as soon as he realized Bella was gone. He wanted the brown short haired one, rather than the white long haired one Bella was... But it wasn't until a couple weeks ago, the acceptance was there without the tears that Bella wasn't coming back. The stories started to change a little.

Cody:
Bella's door got left open and she got out and the Dogs ATE her!
Aiden:
No Cody, Bella could have got away.
Cody:
Dogs ATE her!
Aiden:
They maybe didn't eat her.
Cody:
Dogs ATE her! Ump Ump! (Making eating chomping sounds.)
Aiden:
Well, maybe they ate her, but they just opened their mouth and swallowed.
Cody:
Dogs ATE her!
Aiden:
They ate her, but they didn't chew.

They boys thought they wanted to name the new hamster "Zoom" but while at the pet store, they insisted her name was Percy. Must not have looked like a Zoom once they met her.





So now, we quietly welcome Percy to our home. So far, she's much different in temperment. Not quite the spit fire Bella was... who bit me to prove her points. Percy freezes and will play statue for a few hours, and will roll over and play oppossom if you try to pick her up. (The guy in the store wasn't very good at hamster handling. After like three minutes of grasping at her, I thought how cleaver she rolled over and played dead! Like, just do it!!)

The dogs are of course interested in Percy too, but hopefully will not get the opportunity to get up close and personal. We are putting an alarm on the cage door!

The Weather

I remember when I was younger, people who talked about the weather, was something they did for polite conversation or filler with strangers that they didn't feel they had anything else in common with. I always imagined these conversations as, "Lovely day today." "Yes, it's getting colder." "I think it was winder this time last year."

Now that I am older however, I realize that the weather conversations I have are with the same group of strangers in which I have very little in common. However, my conversations about this topic are nothing short of enthusiastic and astonishing. I find myself waiting to pick up Cody from preschool, talking to people about my decision methods on how to dress the kids or my incorrect decision to leave my sweatshirt in the car. I also tell the story of my astonishment of how myself being a Cali Gal, will never get used to wearing short and t-shirts in 90 degree weather and still have to carry an umbrella.

The other part of this equation, is how excited the people on the other side of this conversation get. They vigerously nod their head and trade tales. "I hate winter here, it's a damp cold." whatever that means... "And the kids have to wear their big heavy coats and their lockers are not even big enough to hold their coats, so they leave them behind and just freeze at the bus stop." I have since learned that winter coats seem to cause the most clutter in the slow winter months in Cape May, NJ.

And when I step away from this converstation, I feel as though we have had a bond. We now share this common phenomenon of questionable dressing of ourselves and our children according to the laws of nature.

Sunny time, sunny times! So when we advise our children to keep their comments to the weather, as in sense and sensibility by my beloved Jane Austin... don't think of this as sending out children to sheild their feelings and restrain their feeling to idol chit chat. No, speak on the weather, delight in the glory of the shared experince that is given to us from mother nature and bond with your fellow earthlings.

Rewards

We go so tired of being the nay sayers. Constantly telling one or the other to stop this or don't do that. Going to a store has become insane with the "I Want" syndrome. We just were not getting though to them with the behavior we expected.

So starting this morning, we gave them 5 coupons. There was a shelf set up downstairs, with toys for each of the that they picked out the night before that they wanted. In order to get them open, they had to earn coupons and trade them in, like at Chuck E Cheese. They could also spend their coupons for TV time, or Computer Time. 1 coupon = 30 minutes or $1. So if a toy cost $5, it's 5 coupons.

They picked out these dogs, that were $20.

In the morning, Cody was in the lead even after spending a few coupons on computer games. He managed to sit in his seat all through breakfast, used please and thank you and tried a new food. Then we went the store, and there was no "I wants" as they didn't want to lose coupons.






They even put the toys down they were looking at in the toy isle and followed my voice and directions to a couple isles over without asking for toys, screaming, bickering... extremely well behaved in the store. Astonishing!! Cody took a nap WITHOUT MOM like a big boy and with no arguments. Then we went to dinner, where Cody wasn't hungry but he sat at the table, was pleasant and played quietly and was polite. Aiden hit the mother load on coupon earning, where he tried all the following new foods: Tempura sweet potato, tempura Shrimp, fried rice, Carrots, Habachi Chicken (which he loved), squash, mushroom, broccoli, salad, miso soup and for two coupons... Sushi.

Now here is where I need to warn, I was so excited Aiden was eating all these new foods, I completely went overboard on the trying sushi. First, I had forgotten he's eaten so much already. Then, I gave him not the california roll, but the roll with unagi inside and tuna on top. (For my non-sushi eating friends, unagi is cooked eel). It was the sushi with the temptation of two coupons, that made him try it, gag and throw up all over the table. I felt so bad. I will never force him to try sushi again.


He was such a trooper however, we went and got cleaned up. He said in the bathroom, "I don't want two coupons!" I had to laugh, and I did give him the two for trying it anyway.

Aiden saying "Two Coupons!"

Cody on computer time.

Aiden happy with his grand prize puppy.